Thursday, May 28, 2015

A small kitchen fire and a broken disposal.. looks like a job for super mom

I feel like last night was a test. I worked a bit late to finish up some payroll and when I went to pickup The Baby from Nana I heard that he had been in a terrible mood all day. He didn't want to eat he wasn't feeling well and my mother was at her wits end. Taking from her notes I hightailed it out of there before she regaled me with stories of my terrible baby. 

My mother does not think my baby is terrible. She loves him, but it's harder than she anticipated to take care of him on a daily basis. It scares me that I will have to find another caretaker because she is going to be too worn out to watch him. It also scares me that she might not have a great bond with him due to resentment of having to care for him on a daily basis. I don't really think this will happen but it might and that is a very scary thought. So far she is handling it but I am going to be checking into some alternatives when I get a chance. 

We get home from Nana's and The Baby is indeed in a mood. He played with Thing 1 for a while but he was very fussy and snotty and slobbery. In the end we had baby food popsicles for dinner and a play time bath. He was tucked soundly into  bed at 8:01 PM and I could breath for a second. I was late getting home so I made a late dinner starting at 8:02 PM. Macaroni and cheese is a savior on nights like these. Now when I turned on the burner everything seemed fine. Did I check the burner tray for food debris? No. Did I worry there might be a fire? No. Was there a fire? Yes. A very small fire which I did not even freak out about. I calmly, sorta, turned off the burner and switched to another burner, this time checking the tray, and finished the noodles. MMMMM cheesy calorie goodness.

Eventful night right? Well it got better. After cooking, cleaning and doing dishes I tried to run the garbage disposal... A slight buzzing and then it stopped. I mentally used lots of curse words. Then, since I pretend to be handy when my husband is gone, I tried the reset switch. A slight buzzing then it stopped. I text Lineman to see if I should call a plumber or wait until he got home in 3 weeks. He called immediately. Normally, I would be cussing him for being gone and having something happen but I was calm and collected so I didn't stress him out. He told me about a magic item on the disposal. Apparently you just plug an allen wrench in the hole and spin it. The disposal MUST BE UNPLUGGED and you can sometimes keep from having to replace the disposal. I found the correct size allen wrench after annoyingly realizing I have WAY too much stuff in the cabinet below the sink, and I worked the sucker loose. I can now say I have a functioning garbage disposal. Go team me! After putting all the crap back under the sink without sorting it in my OCD way, I was ready to relax.

I am about to go check on The Baby because Nana has requested my presence at home during my lunch hour. Apparently his teething ways are not soothing to her and I need to go swoop in and be super mom again. It's a tiring job but someone has to do it. 

Wednesday, May 27, 2015


As our big trip to the islands approaches I am beginning to stress out.  Majorly stress out. My children are wonderful people but every day The Baby gets more active and closer to walking and he will be riding in my lap on the flight to Hawaii. I will be semi alone and I'm freaking out. Trying to get ready both physically (packing) and mentally (some form of mom meditation). I keep thinking and thinking and thinking about what it is going to be like having to corral my little sweetie for 6 long hours. I know we will be ok but then again, will we?

Have you ever been on a plane with a screaming baby? I have, it's never been mine and I've never even attempted a flight this long with him but here we are, planning for an adventure and I'm kinda freaked. Now The Baby has actually flown before. We went to see his grandparents but we flew on a private plane. IT WAS AMAZING. You can pretty much do whatever you want on those planes. Plus, Lineman was with me and the Things were at home. It wasn't very stressful and I had a lot of people I knew there to help keep him happy. This time it's me and the things. I might get an occasional helping hand from Meemaw or Grandma or Girlfriend but pretty much it'll be me against the rest of the plane. I am aware that when you see a baby ready to board a plane you pray that it is no where near you. You cross your fingers and you promise to be a better person if you just don't get a seat next to the child. Well guess what? Someone is going to have to sit near us and if it's you, I'm very sorry.

I might stop here and explain my theory on nature. I tell my children to scariest thing in nature is a mama bear. She will protect her cubs with her life and you better watch out because she has some weight to throw around. I am a mama bear. I love my children fiercely and I will not hesitate to give someone a piece of my mind if they are being a**holes to my kids. But how do you nicely tell someone to shove it 30,000 feet above the ground when you are stuck together for 6 hours? I have a feeling I'm going to have to use one of Lineman's sayings a lot. Goosefraba meaning deep breath and let it go. Goosefraba. He's screaming, goosefraba. He's crying goosefraba, you glare at me watch yourself because goosefraba only works to an extent. I will not hesitate to glare right back. You will not make me feel bad for taking my sweet innocent baby on a plane. No way, no how. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all because my stress level is liable to make me snap.


I'm off to maybe work some and stress some and quite possibly stress some more.



Rain Clouds Make Me Lazy

I've taken a couple of weeks off. Not from life but from my blog. I have been going so hard lately that I haven't had the mental capacity to write my thoughts down each day. This weekend was Memorial Day and we were VERY busy. When I say we, I mean Thing 1, The Baby, and me. Lineman is still enjoying the pineapple drinks and ocean spray in Hawaii. But we are heading his way in 2 short weeks! Eek I'm excited. And somewhat stressed.

We decided we will be surprising Thing 1 and Thing 2 by not telling them we are taking the journey. Under the guise of taking their dear grandmother to the airport we will whisk them away at the crack of dawn and head to the islands. This is exciting except the dear grandmother, great grandmother, and girlfriend of the uncle, will be in the front of the plane carrying small yippy dogs, and we will be at the back of the plane. Just me and all three of my boys. I'm glad I have both older brothers to help wrangle The Baby because I would probably go insane if I was completely alone. But this begs the question. How in the world are we going to get through this? I'm downloading the new favorite cartoon on the IPAD. I am making goody bags and carrying ear plugs for my fellow passangers but I'm pretty sure we will still be annoying.

I hate screaming babies on planes but it is a means to an end and I know that the parents of said children are doing everything they can to calm the child. But The Baby is now crawling so 6 and 1/2 hours on a plane isn't going to be enjoyable. If I'm lucky we will hit his first and second nap time in the air and he won't be much of an issue but I'm guessing I'm just not that lucky.

Cross your fingers that we all live through it and the police aren't called.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Helicopters worry me

Lineman got a job! Yay, except it's in Hawaii. What you say, why is Hawaii a bad deal? Well I'll tell you why. Helicopters. When you can't get to a transmission pole by roads they take you in a helicopter and you dangle below it to work on the line. Does that sound just a teeny tiny bit dangerous to you? Me too. 

I love my husband and he is psyched. He cannot wait to fly above the lines and earn some bragging rights. All I think about is the what ifs. What if he falls? What if his line breaks? What if he grabs the wire and becomes conductive? All the answers equate to my need for antacids and ulcer medication. I am so happy he has a job, that relieves some of the financial stress I've been under, but I cannot help but want to cry every time I think about him being dangled a hundred feet in the air from nothing but a piece of rope or cable of some kind. I choose life Lineman. I want to grow old WITH you. 

That being said I guess we should get ready to take another Hawaiian vacation. As our honeymoon gift my in-laws took us to Hawaii a few years ago with the big kids, since The Baby wasn't even a twinkle in our eye yet. And the things have been begging to go back. I say, shut up kid you are so lucky you got to go when you were 7, I had to wait until I was, not yet 30 but dangerously close. And the spoiled little darlings are going to get to go again before the age of 10. 

Because they have been begging for this, Lineman and I are going to trick them. What horrible parents we are right? Well too bad, if you get to go to Hawaii twice before the age of 10, you are going to have to take it how it comes. We think we'll just tell them Lineman is working there but we won't tell them about the plan to meet him for a week of fun. I'm going to wake them up early the morning of the flight, pile them into the car and not tell them until we get to the airport. How fun will this be? SO FUN! I'm stoked, only have a month to wait.

Other honorable mentions would be that my mother in law, grandmother in law, and probably soon to be sister in law will all be heading to the same island around the same time. See my brother in law and his girlfriend, hopefully soon to be wife if he ever proposes, live in Hawaii now. He is also a lineman and he got a job in Hawaii back in January. They have a 3 bedroom house in the rain forest and I'm so dang excited. Anyway they have 3 pint sized dogs that had to wait to go to Hawaii because they needed shots. My hopefully soon to be sister in law is coming home to get the pups and flying back with my in laws. We might be able to swing the same flight and life will be grand! 

I am crossing my fingers and toes everything works out. This is definitely a new adventure! Bring on the sun, and lots of sunscreen because my whiteness is just so very white the sun burns me in seconds.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

The life of a single married woman

Today Lineman headed for the great unknown a.k.a. California. He is looking for work again which means I don't know when I will see him again. He will call nightly but having him present for our nightly rehash of our day is really nice. Most of our marriage he has been away working. Actually most of our almost 6 year relationship he has been gone. I knew when I met him what I was signing on for. I knew that his choice of career would most likely carry him away from me on a constant basis. I knew my life would be harder without him home, but I also knew I loved him enough to endure the loneliness and celebrate the togetherness. 

The last 6 months of our marriage has equated to more time together than the rest of our 6 years combined. I have enjoyed this time and in a rare moment I began to depend on him. He was there every night, he was there every morning and he was there to help with the everyday stuff. I loved having him here and though our time together always had a deadline, it was so far away until now. Now I have to be strong. I have to raise our children without him next to me. I am a good mother and I can wear a lot of hats, but I can't help feeling a little sad at the loss of our everyday routine. 

I will now have to cook, clean, raise children and work all at the same time. It is something I have done most of my life but it seems different now. I have striven to keep from depending on him. Not because he doesn't want to be home with us, but because he can't be home with us. He has a job to do and though he loves it, I know he struggles with the choice every day. He misses the everyday, the milestones for our children and the hard times we endure without him. If you don't appreciate the ability to turn on a light, you should. My husband risks his life building and maintaining power lines to ensure when you flip a switch the power you need is delivered. 

He may not be a hero to everyone and most people do not realize that his job is so important. We do. His family does. He sacrifices his time with us so he can support us and do what he loves. He sacrifices watching his children grow to make sure the power is there. He works in the heat, snow and ice. When it's -30 degrees and your power goes out, so does he. He endures the weather to ensure that you do not freeze or melt into a puddle. 

He is my hero and I will miss him so very much. I hope he finds a job.  I hope he stays safe in his travels. I hope he stays safe when he is working with voltage that could easily kill him in an instant. I hope he finds comfort in knowing we are so proud of him. I hope he isn't gone too long. I hope he knows that he is missed. I hope, beyond hope, that he comes home soon. And I hope he knows that even with distance spanning between us I love him enough to be a single married woman.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Park parenting: My way

I am not an angel or a perfect person or a perfect parent by any stretch of the imagination. I know parenting methods differ, I also know that there is no book, no way of knowing you are doing a good job, and we realize our mistakes a little too late. I strive every day to be a good parent and I think that is all anyone can do. I try very hard not to judge other's methods as children are not "one way fits all" equations. I read an article about some parents wanting other parents to butt out at the park. It was even said that some parents go to the park to let their children be free of parenting. This is all a choice on a personal level, I'm not saying that this doesn't work and honestly everyone gets to screw their kids up all on their own. That being said here are the reasons I still parent, even at the park, and possibly other people's children.

Thing 1 has a hard time making friends. He is far too nice and far too forgiving. He gets picked on and as a mother that really angers me. I know kids are jerks but mine isn't and it makes me sad that he has to deal with children his age acting this way. Last night my son came home to grab some Nerf guns to take to the park. No big deal, toys are meant to be played with. Ten minutes later he came home with 2 friends to get more Nerf guns (we SERIOUSLY have WAY too many of them) for a Nerf war. I am fond of him playing outside and I see no problem with this. I did put some restrictions on his massive gun collection, he didn't get to take anything of his brothers and if his friends were going to help play with the guns they would darn well help bring them back. All the children agreed and set off to have fun at the private neighborhood park that I can see from my driveway.

At bed time I went in search of my little darling who was playing happily with friends at the park. He saw me, knew it must be time to go home and told his friends he needed the guns back he had to go. One little jerk let him walk up to him then threw the gun over his head in the grass. I SNAPPED. Like baby on my hip screaming kind of snapped. I yelled at the child to pick up the gun and hand it to my son. He stared in shock and I'm sure fear. I told him he had better learn some manners because that was rude and uncalled for. There were adults in the vicinity, ages ranging from barely legal teens to early to mid twenties. No one said a word and I'm pretty sure I struck fear into their hearts as well.

I tell my children on a daily basis that the scariest thing in nature is a mama bear. I became the mama bear. My adrenaline was pumping and I was pissed. My son was being a good fair person, like I taught him, and this other child was being rude. Do I blame the kid? Not really. Do I blame his parents? Not really. It's a culmination. I know my job as a parent is to protect my children when they NEED protection, offer them support all the time, and raise them to be genuinely good people. These are the goals I set every day. Last night Thing 1 may not have NEEDED my protection but I had had enough. If you want to give your children a break from parenting I get it, but you need to know that if they are hurting my child because they lack direction and general decency, I will rectify the situation.

I will parent your children for you. You can give them a break all you want but I will not hesitate to correct behavior that impacts my family. As long as your choices don't affect me I will stay the heck out of it. The millisecond your choice not to parent gets in the way of the values I teach my children, I will do what needs to be done. I will scold a child, I will make them apologize, and I don't care if you don't like it. Find another park or correct the behavior yourself. The real world is an ugly place and though I want my children to grow knowing that life isn't always good or perfect, I also want them to have time before they have to join the working class. I want them to be children and play and be happy. I don't want them to act like jerks and I definitely don't want them to be treated like they are nothing by your jerks.

We all get to choose our parenting style. Mine is a mix of OCD or CDO(in the correct order) and mayhem. My children are growing fast and the more they grow the more I like what I see. They are becoming decent human beings and though children are truly the meanest beings you encounter in life, I will not let them beat my son down without a fight. I will teach him to fight, and in the moments he is scared to fight, I will fight for him. That is my choice. You can say I am ruining your child's fun all you want, but I know that the day I have to step in is the day they crossed my line. If you don't agree, that's ok, because I don't agree with your choices either. We can agree to disagree and move on.

Monday, May 4, 2015

Weekends are for work... I mean fun

We had the weekend of weekends. On Friday, yes accounts get lazy in the off season and I am lucky enough to be one that works only 4 days a week, we worked. OK, so only Lineman worked, I was watching The Baby and pretending to do housework. The Baby had a doctor's appointment at which time he developed a strange rash, thank goodness we were there when we discovered it. No problems, all is well and the rash is gone. Then we got to spend time driving to get Thing 2, seeing my wonderful in-laws, no really I do love them very much, and seeing some friends and their little girl. It was a wonderful, though tiring day.

On Friday Thing 2 got in trouble for being rude, when his Meemaw scolded him he told us when he was 23 and we were old he was going to beat us up.... wait what? Who is this child and why does he think he can talk to us that way? He got in more trouble and as any self respecting parent would, we were so very ashamed we loaded up the kids and high tailed it out of there. How did we raise this beautiful boy with such a sharp mind to be so disrespectful and violent? Oh heck no. On the long drive home we proceeded to lecture them about the importance of respect for elders. Most of which was tuned out because they are children and lectures in dark cars are of course, unproductive. We are silly and thought we may have reached them.

Saturday brought lots of work. The landscape project that would never end actually got finished, save for actually planting in the beautiful flower beds. The children shoveled lots of dirt, my nephew came over to play, the children whined and finally we got to zone out.

Sunday we had lots of fun planned. As always the fun lasted for a little while before attitudes deteriorated as did the fun. We went back to Meemaw's house since she has some acreage and decided a Nerf war was a great idea, and in our defense for a while it was a lot of fun. Us against the big kids, then the big kids split to their respective parents. All was going pretty well until Papa joined our merry band. Nerf darts flew the rules were simple. No head shots, and since Lineman and I are color blind, the big kids had to help us find our ammo. Easy right? Wrong, they didn't want to help causing the game to start to become a true battle of the minds. Then Thing 2 started making up rules to his advantage, normal kid stuff not a big deal, we would remind him that his rules were not how we were playing. Everything was settled, not. Finally he shot Thing 1 in the face, I'm sure by accident, but he was being a total brat about it. Apologize and lets get back to having fun. That was not happening. There was an argument. They got in trouble and the fun was over.

Thing 1 is highly emotional. He is also ridiculously strong for a 9 year old but we call him a gentle giant. He never hurts people even when he is getting attacked because he doesn't know his own strength. Yay for us until he finds out just how strong he is. Gulp! His feelings get hurt pretty easily and he is not a fan of being picked on. Thing 2 is ridiculously smart but he doesn't have much muscle. He tricks his brother into thinking he is stronger to avoid getting beaten into a pulp. The problem is Thing 2 has an attitude. He is not a fan of authority and though I understand this viewpoint I can't help but wonder where it comes from.

Each person has a language that gets through to them. For Thing 1 I have to yell, usually very loudly, before he will listen. With Thing 2 yelling only serves to piss him off. Do I know this? Yes. Can I control my angry voice even with this information? No. Parenting fail. I know.

Sunday after the Nerf war was a fun family gathering complete with slip N' slide and pinata. We got home about an hour before bedtime. The children played on electronics after a day of good old fashion fun and we put The Baby to bed because nap time never really happened and he needed to sleep. And we REALLY needed him to sleep. When bed time came I called the things. No answer. I called again, no answer. I counted, Thing 1 whose bedroom is furthest away reported for duty all wide eyed and innocent looking. Thing 2 ignored. I told Thing 1 to tell Thing 2 he was grounded. This was a scare tactic and maybe ill advised but I needed him to come within normal voice range as not to wake The Baby. When he finally emerged from his lair he was pissed. Slamming Lineman's IPad down. Lineman had had enough. He got Thing 2, who loves his dad and actually listens to him, to understand that slamming an electronic will only get you in trouble and then he really did get grounded, but he couldn't stop there. He had to use that smart mouth of his. This ended in a 20 minute lecture, grounding from electronics and a promise of full disclosure to his mother who he spends the weeks with.

Lineman had a very long talk with him during the "tucking" process and I can only hope that next time I see him Thing 2 will have done a 180 in the attitude department. Because if not I think he might be acquainting himself with a life without electronics, *gasp* how will he ever live? We are like so unfair.