Friday, January 8, 2016

Diet Day 1

I decided that during tax season this year I would try one of those already prepared food diets. I thought, hey I could shed a few pounds and it sounds like the least amount of work and thinking so I took the plunge. Plus, it was so expensive that I will be forced to follow through with it for at least a month. I'm going to log my days on my blog to further motivate me.

Day 1:

9:15AM Scarf down blueberry muffin that I can tell has 0 sugar in it. It was kind of like a soft blueberry scented carb without the good stuff. Drink a bottle of water. Pee.

11:00AM Time for the delicious shake that promises to help with digestive health and fill me up. You need ice for this drink and since today is Monday I barely made it out of bed and in the office 15 minutes late. I have only the year old ice in the tiny mini fridge at the office. It will have to do. I make the shake and it is like chalky chocolate milk. It is not delicious but it is filling. Drink half of a bottle of Water. Pee.

12:30PM I choose Cheese Tortellini for lunch. The container is the size of a paper clip holder. I am trying to remind myself that yes, this is the healthy serving size, and no the makers of this program are not trying to taunt me. This was actually pretty good. Drink a bottle of water. Pee.

2:00PM Time for a different delicious chocolate shake with fiber and protein to make me fill full… Also tastes like chalky milk but in a different way. It is filling for about 10 minutes then I am ravenous. I can eat veggies until my heart is content but I did not bring veggies because I was late and it’s Monday. Drink half of a bottle of Water. Pee.

5:00PM Go get the children from my mother and smell the delicious roast dinner that I cannot have. I do however find some cooked carrots in the mix and I munch on those while my Italian flatbread pizza is warming in the microwave. I was so smart I put a paper towel over it so it wouldn’t get messy in the microwave. When it is finished cooking the cheese has melted to the paper towel and I try, in vain, to scrape some of the precious goo onto my cardboard looking pizza. I scarf the pizza because I was starving and try to convince my children that they do actually like roast. This effort failed so I loaded the children into Dom (short for Dom perignon, my champagne colored mini van’s name). Drink some more water. Pee.

6:00PM We go home to find the kitchen semi restored to normal. I work hard to move everything back to where it should be, and open the fridge to cook an egg for The Baby because he is now starving form refusing the roast. Inside said fridge is the cold boneless buffalo wings from dinner on Friday. I love cold boneless wings. I devour them while I cook the egg because, hey, the cardboard pizza wasn’t enough for day 1. Drink more water. Long for alcohol. Pee a few more times.

9:00PM Go to bed full of water and slightly hungry but not willing to move just to ruin all the hard work from day one. (wake up in the middle of the damn night to pee!)

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