I live in crazy town

2016 marks the year of me making crazy decisions, apparently. My life ends beginning January 1^st and through April 15^th (or 18^th this year thanks idiots in Washington, D.C.) it’s almost like I don’t exist. I work 7 days a week, every week for 3 ½ months. I don’t take on any crazy home improvement projects, I hire a housekeeper to do normal cleaning tasks, and I barely hang on to friendships (actually my friends are completely seasoned to perfection and know that I won’t be seeing the light of day for months so they embrace the radio silence knowing that it will be short lived).

This year I lost my damn mind. Lineman and I got a nice little chunk of money from my parents for Christmas. We decided we better spend it on something worthwhile before we blew it on stupid stuff. So we began the process of making the big decision… what kind of floors should we upgrade to. We’re deep thinkers. We decided on hardwood in the kitchen, new living room carpet and a tile entryway to bring our house out of its former foreclosure special era (we bought it 5 years ago and are just changing these things out because that is how cool we are). We called a hardwood guy, that we knew and gave us a screamin’ deal, we called a tile guy, who I am related to and he gave us a deal, and we called a carpet guy, who I know and gave us a good deal. Notice the deal hunting we did? One person/bid per item and we took the plunge. Who does that you ask? We do. Was it smart? No it was not.

We decided to demo out the hideous vinyl kitchen flooring and underlayment ourselves because it saved us a bundle. Last Tuesday and Wednesday Lineman kicked ass and ripped up the big pieces of flooring. Wednesday night we both crawled on the floor pulling a stupid amount of staples out of the subfloor so the floors could be installed on Thursday. Side note: it is well worth it to pay someone else to do the demo, I was woken many times during the night by my throbbing and painful hands. Hardwood started getting laid down on Thursday and was mostly done last night (Sunday). On Saturday the tile guy came by to do the 4*6 entryway. We also had Thing 2’s birthday part on Saturday and though it was at a pizza parlor, because I may be crazy but not THAT crazy, we still had to go by the house to get a few things for our stay at a hotel to keep us off the floors and away from the majority of the floor sealant smell. When we arrived both the tile guy and the hardwood guy were in the house with their respective spouses helping them. This is fine save for the fact that I only have about 5 feet of space in my living room right now and it was all being used. Then my mom and dad dropped in to check everything out and we were all frozen in place because there was quite literally nowhere to go.

I am living my nightmare. My refrigerator and stove are sitting in the living room in front of the window, my dining room table is sitting in my living room in front of my chair, there is a dolly in my living room plus all the regular furniture. The shit is a mess not to mention the amount of extra hardwood sitting, you guessed it, in my living room. This full panic attack was staved off until last night, after 6 days of clutter, because Lineman was home and we were going to get to re-inhabit the kitchen last night. Lineman had to fly out yesterday afternoon so when I got home to a stinky house with hardwood floors that were still tacky I almost lost it. I somehow managed to stay in the house last night, which by the way was a HUGE mistake. I woke up this morning with a massive migraine from the damn fumes and I about had to call in sick to the job that does not account for sick days during tax season. I threw up, took a bath (where I slept for a good 30 minutes) and then exposed myself to fresh air. The fresh air was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I managed to drag myself into the office by 9:30 and called it a win. I am currently hoping my mother and father in law are getting my house back to normal so when I get home I don’t lose it… again.

Next Wednesday my carpet will be installed and then we will be done. Lineman is coming home Saturday to stay for a week because Thing 2 has to have his tonsils and adenoids removed. I’m happy he will be here to help move everything out of the living room and back once the new carpet is installed. I realize just how crazy we are when I think of all the things we planned without having a real plan. I’m in tax season for gods sake. This is the LAST TIME I go crazy with projects right before tax season. I might have a real mental breakdown requiring a rubber room if I do this to myself again.

Oh yeah and I started a new diet. Lord help my father and sister-in-law for they do not know what is in store for them at the office this week. I’m hoping time starts to fly by so we can be past the crazy and into the normal.